One of the most unkind things you can do to yourself when you are unwell with depression is to focus on getting better. Why? Depression is an illness that will run its course and when you are evaluating whether you’re any better or not you are constantly reinforcing a sense of failure and defeat. […]
Stop Investing In Getting Better – My Top Tip for Depression and more Read Post »
Have you heard the story about the golf course in Calcutta? I think it goes something like this: After colonising India, the British in their wisdom decided that Calcutta needed a golf course. They built a beautiful course in a great location. However once opened, business was threatened as monkeys would invade the course, pick
Monkeys and balls Read Post »
Sometimes people talk about ‘fighting’ cancer or ‘losing the battle’ with cancer. Quite early on I realised this wasn’t resonating with me. Aside from the fact that I am a pacifist and committed to non violence, I haven’t ever been in a fight. I am not trained, or experienced or inclined to fight. I can’t
Why I won't be fighting my cancer Read Post »
I stood on the wet sand with salt water splashing my sunglasses. It was a curious experience to feel a tug and and not to act. I couldn’t always see my daughter as she fought her way through the breakers out into the sea. The waves were high and unpredictable… Years ago, on her second birthday
I’ve recently been reflecting on loneliness, yearning and longing, feelings that my clients often report and with which I am very familiar. Sometimes I long for another person, whether real or imaginary, and I’ve taken to considering, “Who is it, I long for?”. Is it that person, or is it the feeling I get when
The benefits of exquisite longing and of hope Read Post »
Gestalt Prayer I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful. If not, it
Connection, disconnection, adjustment Read Post »
What is Life Awakening about? And how did I come to devise and write this concept? Life Awakening began, believe it or not, during training in CBT for Trauma, when I found myself sitting at a table next to a colleague on a training day. You could call it synchronicity, being in the right place
Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity. From the Tao Te Ching Â
I was always led to believe the saying, ‘actions speak louder than words’. There is no doubting the logic in this statement. However, through my work with couples and studying my own and other people’s ‘languages of love’, I have come to realise that actions speak louder for some than others, depending on their language
When words speak louder than actions: the language of love Read Post »
Do you remember the pose? Hands on hips, legs firmly planted a couple of feet apart, spine straight and head held high? Last Saturday, Dr. David Hamilton had us hold this position for two whole minutes, in his seminar on the Science of Self Love at the Tree of Life in Birmingham. Blood tests and
I have the body of Wonder Woman! Read Post »