The Paradoxical Theory of Change — 18 Comments

  1. Just the thought of simply being as I am and not trying so hard feels light, easy and relaxing. Its so simple. Not necessarily easy….but simple.

  2. Very good point… I only just got a couple of years back that “trying” was endlessly insinuating its way into so many of my intentions… it still slips in to my and my family’s vocabulary… but it is amazing what happens when I catch it! Thanks for the reminder, Miriam 🙂

  3. interesting there can be so much pressure to be changing and updating in life and changing for the sake of change! its an interesting perspective to be where you’re at now, I guess in the moment and for that to be enough!

    • Yes, it’s for that reason I’m not a fan of ‘make overs’ because it seems like we are saying we need so much improvement. Just be, lots quicker than a make-over! Thank you for commenting Jakeb!

  4. Love this blog post, and love the paradoxical theory of change! It’s SO fundamental to my work too. And thanks for the links and references to my website and the Alexander Technique. Much appreciated.

  5. I really appreciate your comment on how we can build a court case to justify ourselves when we absolutely don’t need to! All we “need” to do is just be. Such a relief. Nice topic!

    • Yes, I think people feel they have to justify feelings. This can mean getting side tracked from feeling sad / angry etc into trying to work out why they feel it. I find that if I simply feel it, without getting involved in the wheres and why-fores, it may only last 30 seconds and ‘boof’ it’s gone, just like a sneeze or a hiccoup . I was once having a body treatment and began to cry, 30 seconds later I began to laugh. I had to explain to my practitioner – “I’m just laughing because I’ve realised I’ve been running around like a headless chicken for several days to avoid a 30 second cry!”. Just being is so much faster, so much more effective than trying or running! Thank you for taking time to read my blog.

  6. Best line: “we move by standing still in acceptance.” Love that. Thank you for this thoughtful and thought-provoking article.

  7. Yes I love this and I am guilty of being a big trier.. lol I try so hard but I do find my best change happens when I surrender and allow. I would love my boyfriend to read this blog because I believe he does the same… Thank you!! <3 <3 <3

    • LOL, I think you might be ‘trying’ to help him rather than letting him be…? I can get into that too, so you have reminded me in this comment how my best relationship improvemnts have come about when I let it go… You are a wonderful ‘being’ hope you can be less of a ‘human doing’ today!

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