Yesterday I spoke of dancing with ourselves, and finding our own natural rhythms, adjustments, fluidity of movements, that come out of listening to ourselves and our bodies.
I wonder if it is co-incidence that as a society we have moved from dancing in couples to dancing individually in large groups? It seems a significant reflection of how we organize ourselves. As we dance to our own tune, how does that fit into the whole group? Is the art of dancing with a partner now lost or simply changed?
To dance with a partner takes a lot of practice. Usually – if we think of “Strictly” for example – it involves learned, choreographed movements, which allow partners to dance together without collision (usually!). This involves thinking and external direction that is applied and learned.
It is also possible to dance with a partner in the way I was describing yesterday – to find a movement of togetherness. That flows spontaneously. Though I think this is much harder, it may be that when we become aware of the other person it is much harder not to move according to expectation. To be able to really dance with other, without choreography involves this ability to connect with one’s own authentic movement while responding to another’s authentic movement.
Dancing as if no one is watching, is fine, except that, sometimes people are watching, and sometimes commenting and telling us to dance their way, influencing us or appearing to do it better than us. The un-choreographed dance may have a bumpiness and a fluidity as differences are danced. The dance of relationships is a natural moving together and moving apart, entwining, tangling, seeking space, holding and supporting, separating.
Dancing as if no one is watching, knowing and expressing what is within us with our eyes open, meeting with others and moving away again. This is the dance.