I’ve just returned from a family outing to Markeaton Park where we all took part in an archaeological excavation of the old hall. We clambered down into the trench where we were shown an old floor and with trowels and brushes we cleared away the soil and debris, carefully exposing the pattern of bricks beneath.
Some people were not too pleased that the flowerbeds in front of the orangery have been dug up, leaving two trenches and some heaps of soil and rubble. People do not like change and the flower beds were pretty and have been there for years, a familiar sight.
When we change, sometimes the people around us complain and resist, not because what we are discovering in the process, but simply because the familiar has been removed and change is unsettling. We all love the familiar, the predictable. Change reminds us that nothing is predictable or controllable and that is far too unnerving to be aware of all the time.
One of the most difficult changes that people encounter is the loss of someone they love, this experience alters their perception of life, they see things in a different way and become aware of an existential truth – that we can’t control everything, we can’t protect everyone, we can’t keep those we love with us. This profound awareness can feel lonely and unbearable.
The flower beds were pretty, and there will be flower beds there again once the dig is over. Right now however, the archeologists are changing things around and having a look. In some ways the floor we exposed today is beautiful too. I found it interesting that the discovery of buried treasures is a messy process and that often we do not know what we will find, if anything, of value and all the time people are objecting to and resisting the change. This reminds me very much of therapy!
People don’t resist our personal growth because they are being unsupportive, it is simply human nature to resist change. The urge to look, to discover, to dig, to find out is also human.  If we hold our new positions, the people around us often manage to adjust in time.