The Discomfort Zone
The uncomfortable truth is we never did and never will learn anything within our comfort zone.
UNRAVELLING – Letting Go, Getting Well
Philip Greenfield
Yesterday I spoke about the difficulty in moving off a comfortable ledge when rock climbing. So I like this quote from my colleague and zero-balancer (the guy who fixes my back), Phil.
My new blog is a step outside my comfort zone. I trust that the unfamiliarity of publishing my thoughts will help me to use or develop some part of me I don’t usually use. So expect it likely that I will be aware of this change at the moment.
When a client contacts me for therapy, they are indicating a willingness to step outside their comfort zone. What is comfortable for one person is not comfortable for another. How comfortable is it to say, “I might need some support or help right now.” Or “I’m not sure I can do this on my own”? For some clients this is maybe the biggest step out of their comfort zone. For others, it maybe that they day they say, “I don’t need to come every week” is a difficult, courageous step, as they begin to trust themselves to know what they want and need and stop worrying about what I might think!
When we step outside our comfort zone we can be sure that there is potential for something therapeutic to happen. For the independent person, making that first call for therapy may be the biggest part of therapy.
I spoke yesterday about how when pain brings us to our knees, we have the opportunity to grow and learn, but it doesn’t always need to be painful. When we step out a little, not too far, we will feel a little uncomfortable, rather than immersed in pain – like using a previously unused muscle. So as we get used to noticing the signs of discomfort, when it starts to feel too uncomfortable, we can adjust gently and pull back a little (without engaging in a full scale retreat).
Taking small steps is often a helpful way of not scaring ourselves back into the comfort zone. I realised that I was procrastinating regarding getting some articles published because it was outside my comfort zone and so have begun with a smaller step of publishing short blogs which is, for me, less scary.
What would your small step be? Wearing a different colour? Speaking out? Staying quiet? Saying, ‘no’? Playing more?
If you want to hear Phil talk about Zero Balancing he is giving a talk in Derby, UK on 22nd of May http://cthagrouppresentzerobalancing.eventbrite.co.uk/ .
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