Links to Miriam’s publications and papers below:

We are given so many messages from the beginning of our life about who we should be, how we should feel, what we should want, it can be confusing and difficult at times when we may feel that who were are inside doesn’t match the expectations of the world around us. One of those difficult times maybe letting ourselves discover our sexuality, which I believe is actually as unique as each person is unique.

Our desire to belong, to fit in to groups may compete with who we really are. For some people, being open about their sexuality can result in rejection from their family or social group. Some people find that their sexuality changes through life but the world seems to insist on a loyalty to staying the same. Sadly this aspect of our humaness which should give us a lot of happiness, and which can help us to bond and become close with another, can cause a lot of sadness, rejection and pain. Get help now or read on.

It is important to find someone you can talk to who will not judge you but help you unfold your uniqueness. Whether it is coming to terms with your own level of sexual desire, or your preference for a same gendered partner, the impact of illness, injury or trauma or a clash in your relationship dynamics, acceptance is usually a good place to start. In therapy you can explore what you feel blocks you from either knowing who you are or even when you know, what stops you from expressing who you are.

Click here for a quick link to my free community page Women In Love – a unique psychology.


Your difficulties may also be helped by relationship counselling or be rooted in fears from childhood (see abuse). If you want to talk about these issues, contact Miriam at Blue Skies.

I do recommend my groups as a way of reducing isolation and increasing a sense of identity. My Coming Out Later group (WILL) and Life after Love Workshops are specifically centred around sexuality. Nourish and Nurture groups for all women contain a good mixture of sexual orientations, a huge amount of warmth and acceptance and run for 5 months each winter.

For those seeking group therapy:
Women in Love (Lesbian edition) WILL
Therapy group via ZOOM begins in May and runs for 6 sessions on a Wednesday evening. £30 per session
Current Offer – for the whole of 2024 – free access to papers and presentations and journalling exercises I have written.

I have published my research findings regarding the experiences of women coming out later in life and their experiences of therapy and made recommendations to therapists about their practices with such clients.

For those seeking private individual therapy:
Current Registration Offer – for the whole of 2024!
25% off for women in midlife (my research area) and a further 10% off for those who are coming out later in life, or those with a disability!

HEARTBREAK WORKSHOP April 12th 2024 EVALUATIONS – 100% said they would recommend the workshop – 100% said they would come on future workshops.
There is a 30 second ‘bite’ here re my upcoming workshop – click on the picture to play.

One Day – online workshop – Heartbreak from lesbian relationships:




• Coming Out Later in Life Podcast with Anne-Marie Zanzal

I’ve been a special guest on this podcast a couple of times and am booked to appear again in a month’s time.


CLICK above to listen to me talking about estrangement from adult children with Anne-Maire on ‘Coming out Later’.
Click here for a soundbite.
The role of “mother” becomes very idealised – the opportunity for us letting our child down is 100% .
We will we will get it wrong because the expectation isn’t realistic.The role of the mother does not have space for a woman who has a sense of self.
The role means that we can put our self on hold for length of time when that’s on hold for 24 hours a day for the rest of your life – sooner or later we will we will let them down.

Listen to a 59 second clip of a most recent appearance here where I discuss my paper

Psychology is sexist, it’s written for men and its homophobic. Who would it suit if women were less “hysterical”; less emotional; have sex with men? Lesbian tropes are lesbophobic. Conditioning and biases is in everyone: the therapist; the client; everyone around us… We can’t have a therapy room where all the conditioning doesn’t come in, so in the therapy room we have racism, we have sexism, we have homophobia…

To listen to the whole thing you can tune in on
Apple Podcasts:

Spotify:                  Google Podcasts:               YouTube:


• How is therapy helpful or unhelpful for women coming out later in life? 
Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories + Support

Click on the title to listen Miriam being interviewed in this podcast about women seeking therapy for coming out later in life

Click on the title to read a discussion.
Miriam Grace talks to Anne-Marie Zanzal. Miriam and Anne-Marie have worked with women coming out later in life for the last several years. The following is a conversation between the two of them that explores what it means to fall in love with a catalyst (the woman who opens up our sexuality for some of us) and how to move on when things go wrong.

• Therapy for Later in Life Lesbians – publications and research

Queering Gestalt Therapy

by Ayhan Alman (Editor),
John Gillespie (Editor),
Vikram Kolmannskog (Editor)
published by Routledge

Chapter 6 by Miriam Grace:
“‘Selfish and Destructive’:
Where does the
late in life lesbian
seek therapeutic support?”.



Enjoying the sunshine
and the hardcopy of
Queering Gestalt Therapy
April 2023



I have a free community group on facebook called Women In Love – a unique psychology for clients and therapists who are interested.

Psychology and relationship psychology has been developed mainly by cis het men and delivered on the assumption that heterosexual norms can be transferred to same sex relationships. Romantic relationships between women are intrinsically different and this group is dedicated to articulating a psychology that is helpful to women who love women.

I am a psychotherapist with over 3 decades of experience and I have researched and written about women coming out later in life. I wanted to find a space to put some of my work ‘out there’ and a community of women who want to question, contribute and debate the existing paradigm.