Links to Miriam’s publications and papers below:

We are given so many messages from the beginning of our life about who we should be, how we should feel, what we should want, it can be confusing and difficult at times when we may feel that who were are inside doesn’t match the expectations of the world around us. One of those difficult times maybe letting ourselves discover our sexuality, which I believe is actually as unique as each person is unique.

Our desire to belong, to fit in to groups may compete with who we really are. For some people, being open about their sexuality can result in rejection from their family or social group. Some people find that their sexuality changes through life but the world seems to insist on a loyalty to staying the same. Sadly this aspect of our humaness which should give us a lot of happiness, and which can help us to bond and become close with another, can cause a lot of sadness, rejection and pain.

It is important to find someone you can talk to who will not judge you but help you unfold your uniqueness. Whether it is coming to terms with your own level of sexual desire, or your preference for a same gendered partner, the impact of illness, injury or trauma or a clash in your relationship dynamics, acceptance is usually a good place to start. In therapy you can explore what you feel blocks you from either knowing who you are or even when you know, what stops you from expressing who you are.

Women In Love – a unique psychology.
Click here for a quick link to my free community group

June 2025 Conference – Women With Women – Sheffield UK 
Come and meet others like you, listen to authors, hear the latest research, attend mental health workshops, network and dance the night away at our day conference in beautiful and accessible grounds. Accommodation on site, fabulous menu and headline appearances.

Working with Miriam
I do recommend my groups as a way of reducing isolation and increasing a sense of identity. My Coming Out Later group (WILL) and Life after Love Workshops are specifically centred around sexuality. Nourish and Nurture groups for all women contain a good mixture of sexual orientations, a huge amount of warmth and acceptance and run for 5 months each winter.

BOOKING PAGE HERE

 

For those seeking group therapy:
Women in Love (Lesbian edition) WILL
Therapy group online – Wednesday evening once a month. 6 month minimum commitment.
£30 per session

For those seeking private individual therapy:
INITIAL REGISTRATION ASSESSMENT SESSION 75 mins £80 per session

 

HEARTBREAK WORKSHOP April 12th 2024
One Day – online workshop – Heartbreak from lesbian relationships:
EVALUATIONS – 100% said they would recommend the workshop – 100% said they would come on future workshops.
Next workshop dates tbc but in the meantime, my heartbreak workshop is running as a correspondence course.

 

WISE WOMEN RETREATS – DERBYSHIRE
Retreats are for all women and they are LGBT+ friendly and will be featuring a Couples Retreat (Women Only)
Other retreats available – led retreats plus B&B options for single or a couple’s stay

I am the therapeutic director at Wise Women, creating the programmes and facilitating the therapeutic group work. I work alongside the owner and your host, Justine and we are supported by Anita (yoga and sound baths) and Gina (reflexology).

Wise Women Derbyshire Website

 

FURTHER READING / LISTENING

I have published my research findings regarding the experiences of women coming out later in life and their experiences of therapy and made recommendations to therapists about their practices with such clients.

 

• Therapy for Later in Life Lesbians – publications and research

Queering Gestalt Therapy

by Ayhan Alman (Editor),
John Gillespie (Editor),
Vikram Kolmannskog (Editor)
published by Routledge

Chapter 6 by Miriam Grace:
“‘Selfish and Destructive’:
Where does the
late in life lesbian
seek therapeutic support?”.

 



 

Coming Out Later in Life Podcast with Anne-Marie Zanzal

*ESTRANGEMENT WITH ADULT CHILDREN

CLICK above to listen to me talking about estrangement from adult children with Anne-Marie on ‘Coming out Later’.

“The role of “mother” becomes very idealised – the opportunity for us letting our child down is 100% .
We will we will get it wrong because the expectation isn’t realistic. The role of the mother does not have space for a woman who has a sense of self.
The role means that we can put our self on hold for length of time when that’s on hold for 24 hours a day for the rest of your life – sooner or later we will we will let them down.”

*RELATIONSHIPS AND BOUNDARIES WITH ADULT CHILDREN

*FIFTY SHADES OF MISOGYNY:

“Psychology is sexist, it’s written for men and its homophobic. Who would it suit if women were less “hysterical”; less emotional; have sex with men? Lesbian tropes are lesbophobic. Conditioning and biases is in everyone: the therapist; the client; everyone around us… We can’t have a therapy room where all the conditioning doesn’t come in, so in the therapy room we have racism, we have sexism, we have homophobia…”

 *HOW IS THERAPY HELPFUL OR UNHELPFUL FOR WOMEN COMING OUT LATER IN LIFE?

Click on the title to listen. This podcast is about women seeking therapy for coming out later in life

Click on the title to read a discussion.
Miriam Grace talks to Anne-Marie Zanzal. Miriam and Anne-Marie have worked with women coming out later in life for the last several years. The following is a conversation between the two of them that explores what it means to fall in love with a catalyst (the woman who opens up our sexuality for some of us) and how to move on when things go wrong.

 

I have a free community group on facebook called Women In Love – a unique psychology for clients and therapists who are interested.

About:
Psychology and relationship psychology has been developed mainly by cis het men and delivered on the assumption that heterosexual norms can be transferred to same sex relationships. Romantic relationships between women are intrinsically different and this group is dedicated to articulating a psychology that is helpful to women who love women.

I am a psychotherapist with over 3 decades of experience and I have researched and written about women coming out later in life. I wanted to find a space to put some of my work ‘out there’ and a community of women who want to question, contribute and debate the existing paradigm.

Your difficulties may also be helped by relationship counselling or be rooted in fears from childhood (see abuse). If you want to talk about these issues, contact Miriam at Blue Skies.

Enjoying the sunshine and the hardcopy of Queering Gestalt Therapy
April 2023

 

 

 

WHAT’S ON?

Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories + Support Season 2
click on this title to listen

Miriam Grace, Psychotherapist, Writer, Supervisor, and Lecturer, works remotely from her home in Sheffield, UK. She has been in practice for over 30 years and her current research and writing focuses on women in midlife transitions, which include sexuality; health, disability and ageing; menopause; caring for elderly parents; career and confidence; divorce and heartbreak; empty nest syndrome and living with teenagers.

Her enthusiasm, care, and knowledge for clients and students is appreciated by many in individual sessions, groups, workshops, and coaching. Her specialisms are trauma, relationships, and women coming out later in life. For more details of Miriam’s professional story or training qualifications and accreditations see Miriam Grace or her home page www.blue-skies.org.uk

Let’s Talk

I’ve a new podcast in creation about changing identity for women. Discussion topics will cover disability and illness, menopause, motherhood, empty nest syndrome, divorce, change in sexuality, career changes and retirement, heartbreak, caring for elderly parents and or other adults. If you’ve any topic suggestions please let me know. I want to explore the psychological implications of growing up in a world steeped in sexism and expectations and the impact on the lives of women born between the 1950 and 1999.